I am awful and I love your article because it made my awfulness more beautiful. And my day!

It is true, I also happen to believe our whole big impressive history as a species is a series of serendipity connected stumbles and blunders and fuckups (which we don’t own up to).

What is it what makes us pretend to be these squeaky clean creatures barely out of Eden, shocked at the horror of this snorty universe throwing cosmic radiation in all directions? What purpose does this illusion we’re building in our heads have?

I always tout, whenever I get the chance at least, to some’s exasperation, that the pursuit of joy is a better, more clever idea, than the pursuit of happiness. It is mostly because why pursue what we can only pretend to be? Because, in the end, all happiness succumbs to our nearing ends, held above the waters by illusory constructions of “what we leave behind”.

Human awfulness, the gem of the galaxy! We can spite all these mysteries of the universe who can not ever be as awful as we are, no matter their power to rip apart time and space.

I just think we could be happier if we all were honest with how awful we are. It’s all I’m saying.

Count me in on that! I am an awful human, trying to be a less awful man, a rarely awful person, a not so awful husband, not awful enough as, maybe, a father, and overall trying to live this god damn awful thing which plucked me out of the peace of non existence, only so that I can crawl back to it brittle and faint, drowning in the regret of having an eternity to remember the sweet sip of existing and short breath of beingness.

I write so you feel like you’ve just had an idea. It’s a nice feeling.

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