I too think that if men would feel more beautiful and be less homophobic they would treat women better by effect.
I don’t know if pickup artists are an example to follow though, as they tend to be sleazy. I think women tend to fall for the pickup artists not only because they are more appealing than the cavemen around, but because pickup artists play on women’s insecurities. Because I believe this, I also think your example doesn’t help in this context.
But, apart from the example, the point you make is spot on:
Maybe all those dudes asking “why do women dress sexy if they don’t want attention?” should be putting a little more time into their own image.
In my country there is a saying that states:
A man should look slightly better than the devil
and men tend to stick to this tradition of being unattractive. And it is funny, because it didn’t use to be like this. Men were appreciated for their beauty too, not so long ago. Men’s legs were displayed, the masculine body shape was considered as worthy of beauty as the feminine body. In tribal societies men groom themselves, they want to look good! It is our modern society which, by putting all the focus and all available spotlights on women, encourage men to be careless, smelly creatures, and it educates them in such manner as if women have no kind of distinct desire or choice about how a man looks. But we know how for centuries society considered women to have no sexuality at all!
It is a well known conservative line of thought that defends men ogling women because the masculine visual sexual selection is so strong and important. But, in all truth, women ogle men too, it’s just that they do it in a different way! We keep calling women “the beautiful sex”, the “beautiful half” and so on as if men have no kind of beauty to consider.
That is bad. The uglier men consider themselves, the more aggressive they become because humans NEED vanity, and if you don’t have your superficial vanity in place you create deep vanity which corrodes your soul.
This idea of ugly men and beautiful women was very helpful for a long time. For example, think of how available would men be to take jobs at the dawn of the industrial age, have they considered how ugly working in those places makes them? But being socially conditioned to not care about how they look, it seemed like a noble sacrifice to work in conditions that degraded them physically while the stay at home wife would preserve her looks.
Today if you are a man and you care about how you look it is very complicated. It is hard to bond with other men because you are either considered weak or gay, or you are annoying because if you are that masculine genetically perfect good looking smart guy, all men hate you; you know like all women hate those 10s. But we’re not talking about 10s, we’re talking about the 4s to 8s which make the bulk of society :D ha ha.
Anyway, good point.